Oh, please.

Dear almost ex-friend,

I hope you would stop updating your status, like seriously. You update every thirty minutes with the same… err… meaning (?) It is not very pleasing to the eyes. I am really tempted to delete you from my friends’ list, but I’m afraid that our other acquaintances will deem it to be very offensive. So please.

Okay, I will ignore your status updates from now on.

Hearts,

D