It is important for me to write to you now, even before we know each other, because there is still time for both of us to think about our future and to make wise decisions. There are so many things I want to tell you. Girls are like that, you know. I want to share my dreams with you. I want to trust you to listen and to care about what I say. You are very important to me. When I think about getting married, I think about much more than just the wedding dress, bridesmaids, flowers, invitations and parties. To me, getting married means sharing the rest of my life with you. Growing old together - ‘til death do us part - with a lot of living in between. It means growing and changing and living through the good times as well as the bad. It means loving each other when it is difficult.
I look forward to a happy life with you and our children, but I’m not so unrealistic that I think we won’t have any problems or difficulties. Those will be the growing times when our love and commitment will be tested, and we will emerge stronger, wiser and more deeply in love. I know that we need each other to be holy and to become the man and woman God created us to be. God has already chosen us for each other. That is so awesome to me! I can hardly wait to meet you, but I know I have to be patient because it will only happen when it is God’s time for us to come together. Until then, I can think about you and pray for you and hope that you are thinking about me and praying for me, too. I hope so much that you are waiting for me just as I am waiting for you. I want both of us to do what is right. I want to respect you, and I want you to respect me. I want us to be able to recognize the goodness in each other. I want you to touch my heart with your goodness.
A friend told me once that it is necessary to know what is important to me and to have some “major” requirements when it comes to selecting my spouse. That way it will be easier for me to recognize you when we meet. The “majors” are basically those few character traits that are absolutely essential to me; traits that I just could not compromise on for any reason. I know the most important “major” is that my husband will have to know God, to love Him and to be willing to keep Him first in our lives. I have seen so much joy and happiness in families where God is the center, and now that I am older, I realize how important God is. I want our family to be happy too, and I know we cannot do it without God. The next “major” would be unselfishness. I’m not perfect in this area either, but I want both of us to be unselfish. We cannot go through life thinking only of ourselves. We have to be willing to make sacrifices for each other and for our children. We have to be willing to love. That’s not always easy, but unless we are committed to a lifetime of loving unselfishly, our marriage will never succeed.
We have to be honest too. No marriage can survive without honesty and trust. I know we will spend many hours just talking and learning about each other by sharing our thoughts and our feelings, our hopes, our dreams and our fears. I want us to be very comfortable with each other. I want so much to love you. And, I want you to love me. I want to be cherished, to be the most important person in your life, to be your most intimate friend. I want to be your wife. I want you tenderness and affection, your kindness and your strength. I want to be there for you when you feel happy and on top of the world, and I want to be there when your spirit is crushed. I want to feel protected and secure in your love and to trust you at all times. I want you to feel safe with me and never to be ashamed to talk about your fears and weaknesses. I want to encourage you to stand up for your beliefs and always to do what is right. I want to stand beside you as we go through life together. Remember, I said the wedding dress is not all that important? Well, the most important thing about the wedding dress is what it represents. The beauty of the white fabric symbolizes the purity of the bride. I want my dress to be that symbol to you. I want to cherish my virginity so that my gift of myself to you will be pure and holy. I want so much for you to do the same for me.
The world has cheapened and trivialized our beautiful gift of sexuality. It has ignored its awesome power to unite a man and a woman in marriage and to be the source of their greatest blessings, their children. I don’t want us ever to lose that sense of awe and reverence for this wonderful gift God designed for married couples. The power of our sexuality is so sacred. It is important to me that you believe that, too. It’s a “major”. We don’t have to make all the mistakes many of our older friends have made. We can have God’s best if we do it His way. So, why in the world am I telling you all of this? Because it’s on my mind. I do think about you a lot. I hope and pray that we will be strong enough to combat the lies the world has told us. The things we do and say today can affect the rest of our lives. We do have to think and to care about the way we live today. You are so important to me. Our future is important to me. Our marriage and our children are important to me. That’s why all of this matters.
I want to be your wife, and I want you to be my husband. Neither of us will ever be the perfect spouse, but we can strive to please God and to do His will. By doing that now and after we are married, I know we will have the grace we need to help each other and our children get to Heaven. And, after all, that’s really all that matters in the end.
So, future husband, I hope this letter makes a difference to you. I really do exist. Please wait for me. I am waiting for you.
Your future wife.