TIGER\\MOMMA

Sometimes I feel like all you do is lie to me. You're two completely different people with and without me. You show me one side which I believe is the real you. Then, when you are with others, you show them a completely different side that often contradicts what you tell me. It fucking hurts like hell not knowing which is even the "real" you. If you lied to me about so many little things, who's to say you haven't lied about things that matter before? Why even lie to me? Be honest with me and don't make me feel like I'm your part time friend. Not only does it hurt, its irritating as fuck knowing that I would bend over backwards for you and you don't care nearly as much. I feel like I don't meet your standards. I feel like you really don't like me. I feel so stupid for believing everything you say to me. I feel so pathetic knowing I'm practically clay in your hands. I feel so betrayed by you when you lie to me. I feel so... replaceable. But despite all this I know I'll always hang around because some little part of me tells me you do show your true self to me. You make everything okay again with a simple words. It's that little tiny part of me that allows the way you treat me to be excuseable. Something in me says "This time will be different. Trust me" So I do. And I am left feeling so horrible about myself, doubting myself, and putting myself back together when it's all over. All in preparation for the upcoming cycle.